FAQs
Have a look at some of my Frequently Asked Questions.
We love a bit of playful banter so flirt away, but rudeness, aggression, or abusive behaviour is where the fun train immediately derails. If that happens, we’ll end contact and cancel any bookings. If you can’t manage basic manners, we probably shouldn’t be getting naked together. Courtesy first, cheeks later.
Please also dont message me, then if I dont reply within minutes send passive agressive question marks or get grumpy. Or message between 10pm and 9am and get grumpy if you don’t get an reply. Understandably I’m not sat at my phone or computer to answer messages 24.7. The question marks or grumpyness because i didn’t reply as fast enough tells me i’m probably not the right guy for you. I think you need someone who will be able to answer you at the click of a fingers. thats sadly not me. Getting annoyed about response times = bad vibes, this shows a total lack of boundaries and manners and this is important in a massage.
The Naturist Massage doesn’t include mutual touching, it’s a ‘one-way street’ and is all about you and your senses. The Deluxe Naturist Massage includes mutual touching and exploration, body-to-body contact, and you can do to your masseur what they are doing to you.
My only payment options are Bank Transfer or Cash paid at your appointment when you arrive. You do not pay online when you book.
Yes I do, and you are welcome to use them before and after you massage.
Sex and a gay massage are not the same thing, but I can understand why someone would like to pretend it is. A massage is a lot cheaper. Your trying to get an escort but don’t want to pay for one so trying to get it included in a massage. Its a but rude. Please don’t book a massage and be disappointed because you didn’t get what you really wanted, even though it wasn’t what you booked.
Booking a massage and expecting everything is like getting a cleaner and expecting them to redecorate, do your laundry, and walk your dog at no extra cost. It’s important to note that Full Service is usually considerably more expensive than a naturist massage. Knowing this and then making the conscious decision to book anyway, still expecting it to be included is very insulting.
If you want ‘Full Service / Everything’, awesome, life is far too short not to get exactly what you want. You will need to book and pay for it with someone who offers it.
When you come to see me for the first time, there are four quick questions that I have to ask. I can tick these off in about 20 seconds. They are quick, simple, and essential to you having an excellent massage experience
They are:
Have you had a massage before?
How firm do you like your massage?
Do you have any old injuries I need to be aware of or that may be aggravated by a massage?
Do you have any allergies to essential oils?
I also advise that if you wish to stop the massage at any point, just say ‘stop’. And if I am massaging anywhere you don’t want massaged please let me know. (I’d would rather you say than find out you’re super ticklish and get kicked in the face)
My prices are non-negotiable. Considering the service you’re looking to book, haggling is very insulting. If you try to haggle, I will kindly direct you to look for another service provider. Without wanting to be too blunt, no I don’t price match. You’re not buying a fridge from John Lewis. If price is the primary factor in your decision-making process and you’ve been quoted cheaper elsewhere, go give them a try.
‘But I want a 2-hour Deluxe but only want to pay for a 60-minute Classic’ – Wonderful, I want a Porsche but only want to pay for a Ford. Sadly, life doesn’t work that way.
Regular Client Discount
I do offer a regular client discount to reward and thank you.
– Book every week and get 20% off (Which is basically the same as buy 5 and get one free!)
– Book every 2 weeks and get 15% off
– Book every month and get 10% off
When you book please advise you want to appply the above discount and what date your last booking was on.
The boundaries of each massage are different depending on the massage you book.
Absolute no’s are… no biting, hitting, slapping, or anything of that sort. I also don’t like my feet being touched. (It tickles and not in a good way.) It’s not ‘full service’, so obviously that’s not included in a massage price.
Anything else, I’m happy to take requests or go with the flow. Your massage needs to be natural and comfortable.
No sorry. If I sent pictures to everyone who said they needed more so they can decide to book, then I would be spending most of my day sending pictures to people who have no intention of booking, but just want to collect images. There are plenty of photos on here. If you want more, you can find others on my social media and even more on my OnlyFans. This is more than enough to see who you’re booking and make a decision.
Firstly, you can’t have a massage ‘right now’ unless you’re already standing outside my door. You will need travel time. Secondly, ‘I want to get my massage right now!’ type of message can come across as a little rude.
In the nicest possible way, I don’t respond well to a booking request that is the equivalent of someone clicking their fingers at me. Any decent masseur will have bookings and isn’t just sitting there twiddling their thumbs. I also can’t accept bookings with less than 30 minutes’ notice, as I need a small amount of time before and after every appointment to ensure everything is cleaned to the highest standard.
You can see the soonest available appointment slot on my booking page.
No sorry. The looking is part of the fun, so I wouldn’t want to take this away from you. Also, I don’t know your preferences, so can’t recommend effectively. A simple Google search can find you other options.
No sorry. Not once in many years I’ve been a Massage Therapist has anyone who claimed to ‘need’ to video chat to book actually had any genuine interest in booking.
I do not offer free video ‘chat’ to people pretending to want a massage.
No, this isn’t a service I offer. Sorry.
No sorry. It really shouldn’t be surprising that a massage involves being touched. That’s kind of the whole point. If you’re not comfortable with physical contact, then a massage probably isn’t the right service for you.
And, to be honest, asking your masseur to wear gloves is basically saying “I want you to massage me, but I don’t trust you to touch me”, which makes no sense. You’re asking for a hands-on service while simultaneously distrusting the very thing it requires and misunderstanding what a massage actually is. Touch is the foundation of the profession, and it’s always carried out with clear boundaries, professionalism, respect and hygiene standards of the highest level.
‘So you dont really accommodate for hygiene’
That’s not a hygiene issue. It’s a trust issue. Hygiene is already a standard part of professional massage practice: regular extensive health checks, clean hands, clean linens, clean workspace, and clear boundaries are non-negotiable.
Expecting a massage while implying that a trained professional isn’t hygienic or safe enough to touch you misunderstands how the profession works. If basic professional standards aren’t trusted, then massage simply isn’t the right service because highest level hygiene is already built in.